Purgatory (2018)

There’s this weight on my chest, and I’m struggling to breathe,
Now the light’s growing dim, it’s difficult to see,
There’s this incessant static in my head, making clear thought a chore,
And I can’t seem to open this goddamn door,
I need to get in. No, I need to get out,
In or out, in or out, my throat won’t let me shout,
I can’t tell where I am, I’m so fucking confused,
These words in my head must remain so unused,
So I run and I stumble and I fall on my face,
This weakness within me is a fucking disgrace,
So I cower and I hide and I pretend I’m alright
While everyone around me is oblivious to my plight,
All they see is the shell, not the turmoil within,
The images in my head that their God calls a “sin”,
But hell itself can’t compare to this self- inflicted purgatory,
Nor to the eyes in the mirror, looking back so accusatory,
I know what I am. I know the truth I withhold,
And that this yearning in my soul won’t be controlled.

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